After reading the comments I received from the peer review global workshop, I have some major restructuring and revisions for my essay. These corrections will really improve my essay. The first global revision I am going to make is adding more evidence from authors in my paragraphs because I found that I did not include enough that was sufficient. In one of my paragraphs, I only had evidence from Duhigg and Barboza, and I found that my paragraph was mainly just revolving around that article that they wrote. I am going to add another quote from the article, but also relate it to an idea from Powell. I found an idea between these authors that were pretty opposite and contradictory of each other, so I think it will be interesting to compare the two differentiating ideas.

Another global revision I am going to make is connecting each of my body paragraphs back to my thesis because I found that I only did that clearly in one paragraph. This will make a clear and direct relationship between my ideas and the authors, and the evidence in my paragraphs and my thesis.

I also just need to add some more ideas in my essay because it is a little shorter than my other essays that I have written this semester. I have found this topic particularly difficult to write about just because I haven’t had a lot of experience or knowledge with this topic. I think I am going to talk with some of my classmates who did not already peer review my essay and see if they have any other ideas they think I could add to my essay. This way I can get another set of eyes to look it over and have even more perspectives tied into my essay which I think will really improve it.